Retro-Amy

Because I'm in what I'll call a "limbo" season right now, I don't have much to blog about. I'm pretty much just working, and waiting out the next few months until I move to South Carolina for Americorps. However, I've recently come across some of my old writings, and thought that it might be cool (or at least really entertaining) to post some of high-school-amy's reflections online.

For several years, starting in 1995 (when I was thirteen) I was keeping a dream journal. I had a four or five year period of apocalyptic/horror dreams and I wanted to record them. So to begin, here's an interesting exerpt from March 2000, from 17 year old Amy:

I was hanging around my house and Aunt Alene and Uncle Bob had come over to see Mom and Dad. Rebecca [my cousin] called from her home and wanted to know if I wanted to go with her and some friends to celebrate the New Year. I told her I hadn't realized it was New Year's Eve and she said it was in Midpoint, which was our time-zone.

I walked into my room where the adults were and asked them if they'd known it was New Year's Eve and they said yes, that the last one we'd celebrated had been for England or something. I was kind of dissappointed that I was going to spend another New Year's not celebrating; nevertheless, I told Rebecca I couldn't drive that far at night because my headlight was out.

I hung up with Becca to call Toni [a friend in high school] and see if she wanted to go to Sherman or something to celebrate. This was at 11:50 so we had to hurry. We were driving up the highway but realized we weren't going to make it [in time for New Years], so we pulled over halfway there and went into a little cafe where the staff was still there eating and talking. They were friendly, so we ate with them thinking that as soon as it turned midnight, we would go to Chili's in Sherman and join their party.

After a little while of eating cake with the staff we decided to stay there because they were so friendly, and because a little empty cafe on the highway seemed like such a great atmosphere.

One of the staff had walked outside and said we'd better come and see this. There was a huge burning red rock slab (mountain sized) in the sky heading for the Earth. We ran inside and, rather futiley tried to take cover somewhere. There was a hallway attached to the cafe with several doorways along it. I entered one on the left that was just a small room with a wooden window seat kind of thing filling half of it... (closet sized room). I got in the tornado position on the floor.

I soon left that room and returned to the hallway. A doorway on the right led to a large, community bath area (no toilets) with sinks of concrete along the walls and indented rooms of sorts that must have been rinsing showers with a common drain. [shower stalls]. The middle floor was very large.

When the meteor/end-of-world had finally hit, we were not destroyed instantly, but rather it started to rain outside and leak into the bathroom. We didn't know what it was so we hid from it, but eventually found it to be rain. The water was filling the floor, but then it stopped and lava came through the door. We stood on sinks to avoid it, but eventually found that if you moved quickly enough over it, you weren't burned. If you stopped moving however...

I came upon one of the former shower indentions and inside, the lava [in this particular shower stall] was blue, not firey, and cool. A child sat inside staring at a lava formation in the center of the room. It was shaped like a rose. The child wanted to know if we could live there and I don't recall my response. I was looking at the lava the boy was enthralled with, admiring its rose shape but the boy said something like "You don't really see it. You don't see it at all." I looked closer and realized that the 'rose' was actually a kingdom --crystal blue.

At this point, I looked at the cool blue and [then] out at the hot lava/destroyed Earth and thought a single thought as a number of events occurred simultaneously. I was suddenly flying out of this world into space [more a sucked off the Earth feel] and I watched the world get smaller and smaller until I was thrust into a new atmosphere and I fell into a new ocean. As I was rushing through the water I transformed first into a man, and then I continued getting younger and younger until I was a baby and suddenly the ocean water was a womb's water and I was in a bubble until I disappeared and everything went black. (I went backwards through the life-cycle until I was yet to be born into a new world.)

Through all this I thought just one sentence timed perfectly so that the last word accompanied the blackness. "You're not evil at all, You're a benevolent God."


[ ] indicate things I added in to the original text, because I felt they required some explanation.

As I mentioned, I had apocalyptically-themed dreams for years, all before I became a Christian. I've always thought, that God was meeting me in my dreams to call me out of the life I was living. I had this one about a year and a half before finally giving my life over to Him.

**All posted dreams open to interpretation via comment box.