Monday, April 30, 2007

My Confession

Do you ever just want to hit the RESET button on your life? I mean quit everything, pack up, and start from scratch… preferably on some tropical island without technology so there’s no way your old life can find you??

Two nights ago, I dreamt that I was working late into the night at Hands On. It was just one of those crazy days and I needed to put in the extra time. For some reason my mother was there, and I said, “Hey Mom! Sorry I have to work so much, but thanks for sticking around.”

And she replied, “Oh honey, I wouldn’t have missed your birthday.”

“What!? What’s today? I had no idea it was my birthday.”

Then, in my dream I realized that nobody had called or sent a card or anything… and THEN I realized it was because I’d been doing nothing but work for two years, and no longer had any friends. I’d failed to keep in touch with anyone.

I’ve got to tell you – I’m feeling a little patronized by my subconscious. It didn’t even try to put my stresses into some sort of dream analogy. When I woke up, I realized this dream could easily have been a reality. I can’t stop thinking about all the things and relationships I’ve let deteriorate for this job.

I never thought I would be the type to obsess over work. I always thought that work should support your life. Not replace your life…

Which brings me to the new blog theme! I changed my title and general message from “Up to date coverage of the life of Amy” - to reflect the fact that I presently don’t have a life. For the next … however long… I’ll be using my blog to document my recovery and return to normalcy!

Today I took the first step – I worked 8 hours, and then left the office even though I still had a dozen things to do. It will be there tomorrow….

It will be there tomorrow…

1 comment:

mom said...

there's a Celebrate Recovery group coming to WHCOC this fall - I'll sign you up! I, too, enjoyed the normalcy of your visit home.. It was all good.