Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Can't Sleep...

These are the days that living and working here really, truly suck.

It's 2:30am, and I'm so sick and distracted that I can't sleep. Breathing takes a consciencious effort, and my mind won't stop trying to solve the problem of how we're going to de-mold 8 houses tomorrow with only 3 houses worth of tools.

According to the thermostat, it's 78 degrees in here, and I'm sleeping under 4 quilts, but I still can't beat this chill. I can feel the heat radiating off my skin, but I can't stop shivering.

In a real world setting, this is when I would decide to call in sick tomorrow, and spend the day with a gallon of OJ and a box of tissue. But there are no sick days in NOLA. Tomorrow, I'm team-leading 40 people, and I've promised a home owner who I admire and respect that I will be there to work on her house and figure out a long-term plan for her neighborhood. There's no missing it.

I'm exhausted, but can't sleep. I'm sick, but can't rest.

And the cycle just perpetuates itself. I won't rest tomorrow, so instead I'll get sicker. Being sick will stress me out - stressing out will make me sicker.

The worst part of all of this - is that after a few months of being sick with something or another, I just don't trust my body to take care of itself like I used too. I think I've lost my formerly inexplicable self-healing abilities. Or maybe I've just lost the time to take care of myself...


Anonymous said...

I'm comin' down to see you. Even if that means just stayin' home and sleepin' in so you can get some rest. I'll be right there with you. Just don't die before I get there, alright? :)

- Choi

Anonymous said...

Do I need to come down there and hold you hostage in your apartment?