In three weeks I'll leave it all behind. The shelter of my church in Austin, the comfort of being surrounded by people who all believe what I do, and every day help reaffirm me in that belief. I'll wander out away from the nest for the first time, carrying my faith all by myself, in a world that doesn't know truth like I do, that even hates my truth.
I'll be surrounded. By people who love the world and seem happy, by people who hate God, by good people who I love and respect and who fear God, but who think the way I know Jesus is bogus.
I know my faith will be tested. And I wish I could say I feel strong and ready to take on the world, but I don't. I feel weak. Even here, my faith is an every day battle, that half the time I think I'm losing.
But I'm going - a sheep among wolves. I hope I'm not devoured. I hope the pressure just makes me cling to Jesus. I hope I find out that when its all said and done I'm a disciple, and not just a failure, a poser, or a hypocrite. I hope when the world tears me apart, that at the core they find a genuine love for Jesus, and not just a half-hearted commitment to evangelical doctrine. That when the fire comes, there will be something eternal in me.
I covet your prayers.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
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1 comment:
Prayers are with you. I hope your journey is a good and memorable one.
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