Monday, February 21, 2005


I know I haven't posted anything "real" in weeks. Everytime I start to type, I'm totally overwhelmed. There's so much change and discontent and excitement and hope and disappointment and worry and wonder in me that I just don't know what to type.

I'm excited about my future - or am I? I'm ready for a change - or am I giving up everything I love? I love my church, I'm hopeful for her, or I want to start completely over somewhere else. I want to see the world! and I want to live in the same small town for the rest of my life. I want to totally change the kindof person I am - or am I just starting to really like myself?

I feel there are two personalities battling it out within me. I am conflicted. In everything I'm doing, thinking, wanting, being - I'm fighting out some battle of indecision.

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