Monday, August 13, 2001

a three hour tour

I have serious concerns for the psychological well being of the castaways on Gilligan's Island...

They seem to have no real grasp of the long term implications of being marooned. I can almost hear the record player of delusionment playing its stuck anthem inside mrs. howell's head... a three hour tour... a three three three hour tour...

Talk about denial... I mean, of course you want to get rescued, but after a few years, it's time to start making a life for yourself on the island.

For example, you'd think after awhile, they'd let the rules of etiquette slide and start calling "the professor" and "the skipper" by their given names. ('Frances Marie' and 'Buck', respectively).

And why hasn't it occurred to Maryanne or Ginger that one of them needs to snatch up 'the professor' before reality sets in, and one of them gets stuck cooking for the skipper, or shacking up with gilligan.

Likewise, none of the island bachelors seem to realize the unique position they find themselves in...

I mean, really... if you were an overweight tour guide on a dingy called 'the minnow', wouldn't you call yourself LUCKY to get stuck on an island with a couple of babes like ginger and mary anne?

Suddenly, you look around, and you're only competition as an elligable bachelor, are your "little buddy" gilligan, who might as well be comatose for all he has to offer the ladies, and the illucid professor, who's not getting anywhere until he admits that his name is "stewart presley III".

An added bonus-- you're the only one on the island with any nautical knowledge, what-so-ever. *wink wink baby* so you say you wanna get off this island, huh pretty lady?

... if they're going to insist on living in denial, they at least need to get serious about getting themselves rescued. it's not like all of the professors ideas are completely intangible, but they refuse to try any of them more than one time. As soon as some bumbling native comes by, and takes off for hollywood in their little island raft, it suddenly becomes completely inplausible to build another one!??

They could at LEAST banish gilligan to the other side of the island. how many rescue attempts has he ruined over the years? it's time to cut the fat...

I think this is the real essence of castaway delusionment-- the unwillingness to accept a long term existance on the island, combined with the subconscious unwillingness to devote any SERIOUS energy into being rescued.

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