Can't Sleep...

These are the days that living and working here really, truly suck.

It's 2:30am, and I'm so sick and distracted that I can't sleep. Breathing takes a consciencious effort, and my mind won't stop trying to solve the problem of how we're going to de-mold 8 houses tomorrow with only 3 houses worth of tools.

According to the thermostat, it's 78 degrees in here, and I'm sleeping under 4 quilts, but I still can't beat this chill. I can feel the heat radiating off my skin, but I can't stop shivering.

In a real world setting, this is when I would decide to call in sick tomorrow, and spend the day with a gallon of OJ and a box of tissue. But there are no sick days in NOLA. Tomorrow, I'm team-leading 40 people, and I've promised a home owner who I admire and respect that I will be there to work on her house and figure out a long-term plan for her neighborhood. There's no missing it.

I'm exhausted, but can't sleep. I'm sick, but can't rest.

And the cycle just perpetuates itself. I won't rest tomorrow, so instead I'll get sicker. Being sick will stress me out - stressing out will make me sicker.

The worst part of all of this - is that after a few months of being sick with something or another, I just don't trust my body to take care of itself like I used too. I think I've lost my formerly inexplicable self-healing abilities. Or maybe I've just lost the time to take care of myself...