I've been feeling really down lately. Things that shouldn't irritate me are really getting under my skin. I'm frustrated with my situation. My mind is just generally consumed with a sort of frustrated anxiety.
I think having no job, no hobbies, no apartment, and no social life - leads to a general feeling of being purposeless. There's no reason to get up in the morning. I could stay in bed for a week, and my absence would mean nothing to the world right now. This is exactly not the way I prefer to live my life.
...But that's not why I'm writing.
I think more than I need a job or a place to call my own, I need to re-train my mind to be grateful for everything I do have. I used to be really great at this. I think a year in New Orleans trains your mind to recognize injustice, faster than a blessing. I think though, that if a person can learn to be joyful about whatever they have in life, their whole life is improved automatically - just from being willing to shift their perspective.
In so many ways, we shape our lives -- just by choosing our reaction to what life gives us.
Things I am Thankful For Right Now - Just Off the Top of My Head - Without Editing
1. The Phillips Family. For taking me in for the last two months, and letting me eat all of their cereal.
2. Because being unemployed for 2 months, does not mean I am homeless or starving.
3. For vaccinations, and not dying of things like polio, cholera, etc.
4. My truck, and the several years and thousands of miles its taken me.
5. My boyfriend. He's pretty amazing, and easy on the eyes. (Bonus!)
6. Being smart, and having a lot of opportunities.
7. All the things I got to experience in the last year.
8. Free education.
9. Hot showers.
10. Parents who let us have dogs growing up, and read us bedtime stories.
11. Gmail chat and the US Postal Service.
12. For having all my arms and legs, and never having a major health problem of any kind.
13. For Fall! And all the colors the leaves turn.
14. For the xenias my parents and the Phillips plant in their gardens for me.
15. Dr. Pepper.
Well, you can't beat Dr. Pepper. So I'll stop there for tonight.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."