Incident in All Possible Unbias: The vault is left open over the weekend after a co-worker, a security officer, and myself worked alone on Saturday.
The Boss' Take After an Initial Call from the Security Officer: "#%&$# !!!"
Because I'm the only one here when the boss arrives, I will automatically be the barer of the wrath. The fight now is to maintain good favor and job security.
My Game Plan: Diffuse responsibility - "I don't know how all three of us could have missed it! And how were we able to set the alarm without closing the vault?? Isn't that impossible?"
After a check of the alarm system, it is confirmed that there is, indeed, a techincal flaw, which will take, if not part of the responsibility, at least some of the focus off the human error involved.
Enter Co-Worker/ Partner in Blame:
Despite my better judgement, I inform co-worker of situation to honor the unspoken alliance of people laboring under the same boss. Co-worker is an aggressive political player, and shifts into damage-control mode.
He disappears into the break room with boss for 10-15 minutes, and they come back laughing, in an amazing turn around. Boss doesn't speak to me for next hour or so. Co-worker, out of respect for the game, and to preserve the future of our fragile alliance, indirectly informs me of his strategery:
"What happened, Amy? How'd you manage to put your cash up without locking the vault? ... I don't even remember looking at the thing... I guess your heads just not in the game anymore."
I can be sure that this has all just been said to my boss, in the sly, easy-going manner of a true political player. I sigh with defeat. In the end, I will shoulder most of the blame for this one, while the defective alarm system will consume the boss' attention until he's cooled off.
Oh, but there's more!
My Next Play: I needed to ask for a few days off today to go home for my Dad's surgery. In order to earn back enough good favor to ask for time off, I will work extra hard today - not that I don't work hard usually, but today, I will invent tasks. Reorganize organized rooms, dust and wash windows, file for the loan department... By the end of the day, the boss will remember what a nice, responsible, vault-closing young lady he has working for him, and will smile and laugh with me about reality tv shows. So as not to be so obviously gamey, I will leave it at that, and wait until tomorrow to ask for time off.
My Boss' Next Play: Before any of that happens, the boss will be on the phone with other big shots in the company, and when they ask how he's doing, he will tell the story of the open vault 'incident' as an example of how under-trained his staff is. Rumors of his staff problems will float to the appropriate ears - and will take much of the blame off the boss, when the Big boss wants to know why our branch didn't meet our goals this quarter.
Alternate Titles for this Post:
1. Why I want to Join the Circus
2. Why this Thanksgiving, I'm Thankful to be Quitting My Job!
3. One More Reason Everyone Should Know Jesus
4. A Slow Death of the Soul - Why this Job Would Kill me if I weren't Leaving in Four Weeks.