Thursday, September 30, 2004

Self-Control? Where are you?

I totally lost it at work today. A year and a half of hating my job, and customer-service related stress caught up with me. I had to take a phone call from this lady who was frustrated and talking down to me, and wouldn't let me do my job.

Man I was so filled with anger! I haven't felt angry in so long - years and years. So in a strange way, it was kindof cool just to be in touch with that emotion again. On the other hand - I know that God prefers that I be the patient and compassionate person He made me to be.

Now that I think about it, I don't think it was the anger that caught me off guard as much as my complete inability to supress it. I'm usually fairly efficient at sensoring out things like that. I had to apologize to my co-worker for some of the things I said right after this happened. Wow - it's amazing how you can be so free from something, and so far from it, and then BAM! you fall right on your face again.

Jesus, I know that I am the "peace" part of your bride. Help me hold onto Your peace, specifically in customer-service situations. Also help me be real and peaceful - not just suppressing anger, but truly having peace with things. And if I'm going to act out of character - let it be because I'm doing crazy stuff for You, and not because I'm tripping up on old sin. AMEN.

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